Important Songs

It is difficult to limit my important songs to 3.  I love music.  If I were to limit my music choices to the most important, it’d still be a lot.  My most important ones would probably be the ones used in my wedding or ones that remind me of my wife, which are many.  “Last Night On Earth” by Green Day was our first dance.  “I Believe in a Thing Called Love” by The Darkness was what we ran out of the church to after becoming man and wife.  Anything Beatles reminds me of her.  That’s a large library right there.  Anything Owl City reminds me of her too.  I got turned onto them when I first started getting to know her aka stalking her on Facebook.  I guess it just boils down to what is most important to me in the music world is anything that reminds me of my wife, who is undoubtedly the greatest thing in my life ever.  I hope that she knows that.  Often lately I feel as though I keep dropping the ball as far as letting her know how important she is.  Heck, even our anniversary was meh because I’m poor at planning and didn’t get anything together in time.  I also use our poorness as an excuse for not getting her things, which is true, but it still stinks.  I want to give her the world, but sometimes I feel like I can’t give her table scraps because of our money situation.  Tis frustrating.  I’m surprised we were able to afford our costumes for upcoming cosplay events.  I hope those turn out well.  I’ve noticed the Heroes of Cosplay show on Syfy channel again, and it makes me want to do that too.  Making costumes and dressing up like my favorite characters or personas for a living.  How awesome is that?  Of course, I know absolutely nothing about making costumes; I just buy them and put them on.  Still, it would be fun to do.  The cons are definitely my scene.  I know that people will be there that I can identify with.  Nerds, namely.  I want to be able to do something nerdy for a living too.  People keep popping up in nerd culture with their own TV shows and websites and podcasts and so on, basically getting paid for talking about what they love to talk about.  I want to do something like that too.  I just don’t know how.  I mean, some time ago we tried to start a podcast/vlog thing, but that didn’t go anywhere.  Well, it didn’t even really get started.  We filmed some banter about Batman: TAS but never even edited it or put it up.  I think about Kevin Smith’s Batman podcast, and I’m like “Man, I wanna do that so bad!”  I find I deal too much with “what if?” or “wouldn’t that be cool?”, but my usual way is doing nothing.  I need to take more risks.  I need to act in something.  I always talk myself out of it.  I feel like I could be good if I cared about what I was doing.  In the past, I have been involved in little projects that I didn’t care too much for but was being a good friend and helping, and it showed in my performance.  Still, I want to and need to do that.  Otherwise, I know it will be a regret.  I want to be able to at least do karaoke too.  Basically I just need to get over being so darn timid about public things and just do it.  I think I could be good at things but don’t know because I won’t even attempt to try.  This is something I must get over.  I’m tired of my wife being sad because I won’t sing songs to her.  Wow my mind really does wander; writing it out shows that so much more.  Time’s up for today…doing more free writing.  It is the way to go I think.  Better to get words out and revise later rather than writing nothing because it needs to be perfect the first time.          

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