Free Writing

Okay, so I’m supposed to free write for twenty minutes for today.  I’m not even sure why I’m doing this.  I mean, I’m not the writer-type person.  At least, I don’t think I am.  However, here I am doing something to help me with writing things in general and posting blogs.  Maybe I am just bored and looking for a challenge.  I think it just really got to me when my wife suggested I should get a hobby because all I do is work, sleep, and watch TV.  She’s not wrong.  Well, she’s never wrong, but that’s her gift/curse.  She does speak the truth though.  I really don’t have any hobbies.  I don’t have MY thing.  You know, that thing you have that no one else enjoys quite as much as you.  Or is as good at.  That thing that people look at your Facebook because they never see you and say, “Oh yeah, he’s THAT guy.”  For a long time now, people have labeled me as “Counselor” or “Psychologist”, and to an extent that’s true.  I have the learning.  I have the experience.  Yet, when people label me as such things, I feel like I don’t quite identify with that, or I miss the link entirely.  I feel like I identify more with “nerd” or “gamer” or “Batman/Spiderman/most comics enthusiast” than labels of the psychological variety.  Probably not the best thing to say when you’ve spent many years on a path towards being in the position to be called something psychological and professional in the same breath.  Perhaps I just spent too much time in school that any interest I had in the field had diminished, and then so-called “real life” took care of what remained.  Alas, time moves forward, not backward.  I can only continue to grow in myself and dig deeper into what it is I truly want to do.  It is something psychological for now.  Later, who knows?  I doubt it though.  Whatever I am doing, I want to be passionate about it.  If there is no passion, there is no point.  Just the usual drudgery of the day.  I want to find something I truly care for.  I want to feel alive.  I want to find my true passion (besides my beloved wife, of course) that makes me happy, that makes a job something I get to do rather than something I must do to get to the next payday.  I’ve tried that for a good while now, and I’m not a fan.  There must be more than that.  Much more.         


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